Being used is never a good feeling, but unfortunately, it can happen in sneaky ways.
If it’s all about them and never about you, that’s a good way to tell that they might be using your relationship for their own benefit. Though having an honest conversation with them might sometimes help sort out the issues, if you get the impression that there’s something one-sided about your relationship, ignoring it is only going to make things tougher on you in the long-run.
We rounded up some signs that someone is actually using you.
The conversation is always about them.
When all of your conversations with someone revolve around them, they’re likely getting more out of the relationship than you are, which makes it one-sided. Maybe they need someone to talk to and you’re able to fulfill that role, maybe they prefer to be the center of attention all the time and with you, they’re able to.
„If you feel like you are being used, you should assess the situation and check yourself to see if you are in the most healthy relationship you can be in,“ Katie Leikam, LCSW, LISW-CP, BC-TMH, a licensed clinical social worker, told INSIDER. „Is this relationship giving you joy? Do the benefits of this relationship outweigh being used? Do you realize you are better than being used? If you can understand you are being used, then it’s time to change your situation.“
They always let you pick up the check.
Though you might not be comfortable letting them pay for everything all the time, you shouldn’t be paying for everything either. And if they’re always OK with letting you pick up the check, that could be another sign that they’re really only using you.
„Discussions about money can be uncomfortable, but they’re essential to a happy relationship, as finances are a primary source of conflict between intimate partners,“ Dr. Jess O’Reilly, Astroglide’s resident sexologist, told INSIDER. „This is because money is tied to personal values including those related to family, culture, upbringing and status. I suggest you talk about money generally first and then address specific behaviors, as once you have a better understanding of their personal values related to money, it might help you to see their behavior in a different light.“
No one should be insisting on the other paying all the time.
You always have to come to their rescue.
Though one of the nice things about relationships with family, friends, and, yes, partners, is that you have someone on your side. But if you’re always having to bail them out, that’s a pretty good sign that they could be using you.
„You shouldn’t spend money bailing your significant other out of their problems in a relationship,“ Leikam said. „You should feel like you are cared for and that your significant other has concern for you always.“
See the rest of the story at Business Insider
Source: Business insider